Silver Linings Playbook

Posted by on Mar 7, 2013 in Outrageous Movie Secrets

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We all know that David O. Russell is a genius. Who? All of his movies’ titles sound like Cat Stevens songs…if Cat was a crack whore. I discovered the film admiring the fabulous career of famous Renee Zellweger lover Bradley Cooper. He is the only guy who’s character didn’t suffer any physical or emotional stress in the Hangover series and cried at the Oscars this year, no wait that was Seth Macfarline in his hotel after the show. Unfortunately I’m not such a great fan of Jennifer Lawrence since it’s really uncomfortable to have erections lasting longer than an hour which is the duration of most movies she stars in. Old person – Sir Robert DeNiro joins the cast to make it even more uncomfortable for the crew by droping failed-golden-globes inspired jokes the way Nicole Kidman’s lips drop when she is not trying to suck them in for a photoshoot. Oh yeah there was another old person, some female I guess and the only black guy was an insane dancing instructor trying to make everyone laugh who didn’t die at the end. Ok enough of spoilers. My detective eyes spotted the multitude of subliminal messages, hidden conspiracy theories, hypno-masonic sex inductions and Jennifer’s cameltoe. So here it comes the list of top 5 secrets THEY didn’t want YOU to see in the Silver Linings Playbook:

  1. The movie script was adapted from the book by Matthew Quick who also wrote ‘Sorta like a Rockstar’ (2010) which is a book loosely based on Taylor Lautner’s childhood before his career ended after the last part of Twilight. Lautner dated Taylor Swift before she realized she is into men and met famous ex-fagot Zac Efron who had recently gotten back into the closet after discovering that his scarse facial hair can lead him to more roles. Now we all know that Zac played in an episode of ER back in 2003 and George Clooney also…I really don’t know where this is going but I guess it’s the creative genius mind of Russell trying to tell us something. Probably about oppressed homosexuality, maybe a message to his wife.
  2. If you watch very carefully Silver Lining Playbook is a movie where a bunch of people yell at eachother and occasionally hit eachother’s faces. According to many scientists the aggression is a symbol of hidden anger usually induced by unmet career dreams such as the box office performance of I Heart Huckabees (2004).
  3. This next one is a secret so deep even Oprah wouldn’t say on the Howard Stern show. In one of the scenes Jennifer’s character says: ‘You say more inappropriate things than appropriate things. ’ This of course is a direct reference to the political career of George Bush and a critic of the war on Iraq, Vietnam and all unnecessary American cruelties such as Honey Boo-boo’s mama. Note that Jennifer’s face oddly resembles Jenna Bush Hager’s after a fresh morning shave while she speaks these very words.
  4. Did you notice Bradley was dressed like a JerseyShore personal trainer throughout the entire movie? Right? He looked like ‘if Jennifer would leave, he would like go stuff  her fucking nose with tampons.’
  5. The dancing in the film was intended…Well noone knows where the fuck did that come from. It doesn’t even mean anything. Even Tom Bergeron can dance better from observation.

That was about it! A dose of secrets noone wants you to know ever! Stay tuned for next time when we are going to discuss the secrets in the first 23 seasons of The Bold and the Beautiful.

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